Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Do Military Wives Make Better Surrogates?

Not to be outdone by Newsweek, ABC News has done a piece on surrogacy. Again, this is a balanced and informative look at surrogates and why they agree to carry a child for another couple. I have worked with many surrogates, both military and not, and I cannot say that military wives make better surrogates. They have been some of the best surrogates I have worked with and some of the worst. Like anything, there is the good and the bad.

Like the Center for Surrogate Parenting, I am careful working with military surrogates whose husbands are deployed. While these women are used to managing their children and households single-handedly, every surrogate needs a support system and if the surrogate has none while her husband is deployed, then I recommend not working with her.

I also question military surrogates on their husbands' future orders, as the spouse could get orders to move to a state that does not recognize surrogacy. For the most part, the surrogate and her husband know that they will be getting their orders months in advance, but I worked with a surrogate whose husband recently got orders to move to Japan. Thankfully, we were only in the matching stage and she had not cycled with the couple and was not pregnant. During the interview with this surrogate, she said that her husband is here to stay and he has no plans to get transfer orders. This surrogate appeared genuine so I have to believe she had no idea he was getting his orders.

Because my practice is based in San Diego, which has two military bases, my contract always has a clause requiring the surrogate to remain in their home state, which is usually California, through the delivery. As you can see this is especially critical when working with military surrogates.

Read the full article here:


So many Ideas not enough Time said...

I was wondering if you could tell me where the best place to find info on becoming a military Surrogate. My husband is ADNavy and I want to surrogate but I can't seem to find info from Tricare about what exactly they cover. I have called and they gave me a bit of a run down and told me to go to but I can't find anything. I just really need straight answers on this so we can proceed. Thank you

Stephanie Caballero said...

That's a tough one. I don't believe the military will give you a definite answer on your health care benefits when you are a surrogate. I do know that Tricare has something called "cost sharing" which they do not enforce very often, but they can ask the Intended Parents to cover the cost of the medical benefits paid while you are a surrogate. Contact my office if you would like more information. Good luck and thanks for reading and commenting.

Kathy said...

I am a military wife and have endured 11 years of being unable to conceive. I have had 2 surgeries and numerous artificial
inseminations. Everytime we would have to move, I would have to start over at a new fertility clinic. We were never in a location with a military hospital so everything came out of our own pocket. A military surrogate would be an answer to our prayers.
Thank you for listening.

Stephanie Caballero said...


Please contact me directly at if you would like to talk further about finding a military surrogate. My heart goes out to you.

Tara Rains said...

How can I get more information on a military wife surrogate??? I have a heart condition which doesn't allow me to have children of my own. We just adopted an eight year old girl, but we are still interested in having a baby! Thank you for your time.!

Stephanie Caballero said...

Tara please contact me directly at so I can help you out. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

i am looking into becoming a husband is a 2nd class petty officer in the navy and we are stationed in southern california. i would like to be a surrogate for an infertile military couple...just curious how it all works financially (is compensation taxed?) and how tricare would handle a surrogate situation with both parties being military. thanks!!

Stephanie Caballero said...

Please contact me directly so I can help you regarding becoming a surrogate. Thank you1

Anonymous said...

Hi I am unable to have more children . My husband and I want a baby girl real bad I know a baby girl can't be promised but even twin girls would be ok .I would love more info . Is there anyway I can get more info please .

Anonymous said...

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Also visit my site : conception vitamins for women

Stephanie Caballero said...


Please contact me at and I can provide more details. Thanks!

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