How Old is Too Old?

The world's oldest mother died this past week, leaving twin boys. She was 69 years old. I think, along with most of the world, that she was too old to conceive. There is now a 72 year old woman who would like to become a mother.

I feel very strongly and even passionately that I am not in a position to judge. Who am I to say if that person will be a good parent. Oftentimes, my clients are taking hormones and are stressed because they so desperately want a child. They have paid thousand of dollars and the majority of them have suffered, mostly without help, and grieved over not having a child. I do not usually see them at the best time in their life when I meet to review the contract.

But, 66 years and 72 years is too old. There is a reasons (too many to into for this post) why women give birth at a much younger age. First and foremost, it's the children that come first and now those children are left without the only parent they have ever known. That is the tragedy.

What do you think? How old is too old to become a mother?

So, What About Michael Jackson's Kids?

I thought since this issue was all over the web in the last couple of weeks that most people understood the issues involved, but just last week a neighbor came up to me and asked me that very question: So, what about Michael Jackson's kids?. I knew where he was going so I replied, just as I did for Tamera H. Bennett at her blog, Bennett Law Office, that in California, it doesn't matter if Michael used a sperm donor an egg donor and a surrogate for all of his children. Intent controls in California and as long as he had the intent to parent, and the third parties did not, he is the father. Of course, he would also have a judgment of parentage, signed and certified by the court, but my neighbor was satisfied with my response so he moved on to his next question.

What about Rowe?

Now, that's entirely different, as she is the legal mother of his two older children, Prince and Paris. Her name is on the birth certificate and remains so, so under CA law, she could have visitation and custody rights to them. The hearing is scheduled for July 20 and I will be following the case closely.

I do hope the judge who hears the matter takes into consideration the fact that the youngest child, Blanket, has never been separated from his two older siblings and to tear them apart when they have lost their father and the only home they have known, would, in my opinion, be very detrimental.

What do you think?

Surrogacy and Medi-Cal Insurance

This past week I received a telephone call from a surrogate who wanted to know if it was legal for her to use her insurance for her surrogacy. She and the Intended Parent were using a contract that he found on the Internet. The surrogate seemed to think this was okay because he is attending law school so he is an attorney. I explained to her that until he passed the Bar and obtains his license, he is not an attorney. "Oh" and then "well" was her response.

She then told me that her husband is in construction so they are on Medi-Cal (the state of California's low-income insurance plan) so they are going to have two contracts. One that states that the Surrogate is not receiving a fee, which they will send to Medi-Cal as proof that she is doing the surrogacy for no fee and then an amendment that states the fees she will be receiving. She then asked "Is that legal?"

"No. That is insurance fraud and if the insurance company that administers your plan finds out you and your family will lose your insurance, at the very least." I then told her to hire an attorney to protect herself and that if she wants to hire me I would charge more than my going rate because a contract found off the Internet is going to require a lot of work. I also told her to not use her Medi-Cal insurance and that the Intended Parent needs to purchase her insurance to cover the surrogate pregnancy. Frankly, I think she somehow expected me to say something different.

Insurance companies are very, very serious about insurance fraud, especially regarding surrogacy. Medi-Cal insurance does not usually have a surrogacy exclusion so as long as the surrogacy is truly altruistic and there is no compensation paid to the surrogate and the insurance does not exclude a surrogate pregnancy, it is appropriate to use it. But, absolutely not in this surrogate's case. I wish her the best of luck as I'm afraid she's going to need it.

An Update on Embryo Donation

What do you do with your embryos? It's a dilemma that many couples and individuals who have gone through IVF treatment face, as there is an estimated 400,000 to 500,000 cryopreserved embryos in the United States alone. You are done having your own children and you are not sure what to do with the embryos you have cryopreserved at your IVF center. As the years go on, you are charged more each year to maintain them. It is a very real dilemma for a lot of people.

Embryo donation is a viable option and it has received more press with the passage of the "Option of Adoption Act," which will take effect July 1, 2009 in the state of Georgia. Under the new law, "A child born to a recipient intended parent as the result of embryo relinquishment ... shall be presumed to be the legal child of the recipient intended parent," the new law states. HB 388 does not require the recipients to be a married heterosexual couple, which I was afraid of, but they do require that all parties sign an agreement, which is what I do for my embryo donation clients.

Most people believe that the difference between an embryo adoption and a donation is that the adoption is open and the donation is anonymous, which is not true. I have drafted or reviewed embryo donation contracts where the recipient and donor are known to each other and have worked on contracts where they are not. It is all up to the parties involved as to how that is handled.

With the economy still an issue, there are couples that need a third party to help them create their family, but they simply cannot afford it. And, there are thousands of couples with excess embryos cryopreserved for years. It's a very personal decision, but for those who decide to donate, the potential for joy is endless.

Extraordinary Conceptions extends a helping hand to Surrogenesis, Michael Charles Holding Company Clients

If you are an Intended Parent and you have lost money with the disappearance of the Michael Charles Holding Company and Surrogenesis, Extraordinary Conceptions, LLC would like to offer a helping hand by discounting your Egg Donation and Surrogacy Cycle. We know how hard you have worked and how many years you have suffered and to have a company like Surrogenesis give you false hope that your dreams of having a child will come true, only to steal your life savings blind is appalling.

In case you haven’t heard, escrow company Michael Charles Holding Company has shut its doors, affecting more that 30 Intended Parents and taking off with 1,000,000 in client trust funds. While MCHC stated on their website that they were licensed and bonded, it has now come to light that they might be neither. The FBI is investigating MCHC and if you have any information about MCHC or Surrogenesis, please contact Extraordinary Conceptions and we will get you in touch with Sterling Johnson, who is tirelessly working to see if any money can be recovered for all those affected. However, as Sterling pointed out, even if any money can be recovered, it will be too late to meet your immediate financial needs.

Tonya Collins, President and CEO of Surrogenesis, is also Agent for Service for Michael Charles Holding Company and it is unclear if she had an ownership interest in the company. However, we at Extraordinary Conceptions and others in the industry are extremely doubtful that Tonya will emerge from this heartbreaking mess as an inocent victim.

Please contact Mario Caballero, the Executive Director of Extraordinary Conceptions, at mario@extraconceptions.com, to speak to him about your cycle and the discount program for those affected by the Michael Charles Holding Company and Surrogenesis.

My heart goes out to all those affected. Dreams have been shattered and that is not an understatement. Surrogates are left without insurance while pregnant as bills were not paid. Donors have been left without payment after undergoing weeks of shots and an egg retrieval. And Intended Parents have lost their life savings, and in some cases, money they don’t have as most have to borrow money to afford treatment.

For those looking to work with an agency, please be careful and choose wisely. Speak to therapists in the industry and IVF physicians. Get personal recommendations. Do not rely on information online. You do not know who is posting that information and why. Anyone can say anything about an agency, and you can bet that Tonya Collins and Surrogenesis had a lot of people saying great things about her and her agency.