Surrogacy for Gay Men – Melbourne Community Forum – 22 May 2010

When: Saturday 22 May 2010 from 10.00 A.M. TO 1:00 P.M.

Many Gay men are now becoming Dads via surrogacy. There are Surrogacy Agencies in the United States, Canada and India all helping Australian Gay men become fathers. Altruistic Surrogacy is also now legal in Victoria and some other states of Australia. This forum with be the fifth held in Melbourne and will be presented by members from Gay Dads Victoria. The free forum will be held in Prahran and provide an opportunity for gay men to find out more about Surrogacy and the options available in Australia and other countries.

Over the years the forum has been the start of the journey to parenthood for many gay men (myself being one of them!). This is a great opportunity for interested gay singles or couples to have some of their questions answered:

- how does surrogacy work
- how do the surrogacy laws work in the US, Canada, India and Australia
- how do I bring my child back in to Australia
- can anyone do it
- how much does it cost

This will also be an opportunity to meet other Surro Dads and Dads to be and learn more about their journeys.

New Jersey Rules for Gestational Carrier

If you follow my tweets (@surrogacylawyer) you know about the Superior Court judge in New Jersey's ruling that the gestational carrier who bore twins for her brother is now their legal mother.

As a follow-up, there is great piece today in the Huffington Post by Jacob M. Appel about this ruling and how New Jersey missed an opportunity to not only move away from the Baby M case and differentiate between traditional and gestational surrogacy, but also to allow women to make the decision if surrogacy is right for them. As Mr Appel says so eloquently, no one argues that men are being degraded or demeaned if they decided to become sperm donors. Why are surrogates any different?

And, if men were able to become surrogates, they would be applauded as entrepreneurs. I agree with Mr. Appel that women are perfectly able to make the decision for themselves and should be allowed to do so in every state, not just California, among others.

What say you?

Intended Parents Lose Custody of Twins to Surrogate

This past week The New York Times ran an article on the Michigan surrogate who gave birth to the twins she later sued for custody -- and won.

Why didn't the IVF specialist at IVF Michigan insist on a legal contract between the parents and the surrogate with an experienced assisted reproduction attorney? An experienced ART attorney would have advised the couple NOT to work with a surrogate from the state of Michigan. Well, not unless they were comfortable in taking the risk of losing their children, which they did.

All IVF Centers that I work with will not do a transfer of embryos on a surrogate without legal clearance from an experienced ART attorney and this case clearly illustrates why. Intent to parent controls in California, the state where I practice, so this type of case typically does not happen here.

And why is the Intended Mother unfit to care for her children? She has not had a schizophrenic episode, in what, eight years? I was speaking with a former surrogate today and she said, "good for the Intended Mother in not wanting to harm herself or her unborn children by getting pregnant while on medication." Are you unfit to parent solely based on the fact that you have been diagnosed with a mental illness?

I cannot stress enough the importance of working with an experienced ART attorney, especially when there is no biological link between either or both parents. Cases like these should not be happening. Creating your family using a third party is expensive, but if you pass on or forget to get an attorney, the price you may pay could be much, much higher.

The Right to Have 11 Children Defended

I tweeted about this the other day but since Octomom issues like this don't go away and need to be revisited. First, it should be clarified that this couple's children were not conceived using in vitro fertilization but rather ovulation induction where the woman is stimulated using either Clomid or injectable medications and either has intercourse with her husband or her physician performs an IUI (intrauterine insemination). In my research induction usually causes more multiples than in vitro. Yes, I know Nadya Suluman had her eight children with IVF but she really and truly is not the norm.

Most IVF physicians that I work with think a failure during an assisted reproduction cycle is when the patient either doesn't get pregnant or she gets pregnant with more than twins.

Further, this couple has two children previously, two sets of quads and now twins (one child did not survive). IVF is a much more expensive procedure and if ovulation induction is working, and it certainly has for this couple, no doctor is going to recommend a much more expensive and invasive procedure when it is not necessary.

I know it is a tough subject, especially for all of you struggling to have one child. The knife couldn't go in far enough or deep enough. Contact me if you want to talk or scream or cry. I'll listen.

What do you think? Should this couple have had 11 children using assisted reproduction techniques?

Ontario Experts Recommend IVF for All Except Women Over 42

The expert panel recommended IVF for all including same-sex couples and singles, but not for women over the age of 42. I have a friend who is 42 years old and pregnant (yes, naturally) and we all know a friend or a friend of a friend who got pregnant at 42 or older so why would the Canadian panel pick that age?

It's simple, really. Egg donation is virtually non-existent in Canada because egg donors cannot be paid and they cannot be anonymous. That makes it very difficult for women to find a donor in their own country. And IVF is funded by the national health care system so the chances of IVF working for a 42 year old woman are not great.

I can hear you now: what about the women in their 40s who are in excellent health? They work out, take great care of themselves and look 10 years younger. It doesn't matter with eggs. Forty-two-year-old eggs are old, especially when you compare them to a 22 year old woman. It doesn't matter how many lunges you do.

What say you?